Wpływ relacji z ojcem i matką na kształtowanie się osobowości dziecka

Abstract

Relationships with the mother and father are the two wings that carry a child on its way to a personal growth – as a man or a woman. In his book, The Art of Loving, Erich Fromm differentiates between the motherly and fatherly kind of love. He says motherly love is unconditional. The mother loves the child just because it exists. Whereas, the fatherly love must be earned. According to David Blankenhorn, the difference between the role of the mother and the father is reflected in the way they hold the baby. The mother cuddles it close to her, embracing it in her both arms. The father holds the baby at a certain distance, in the outstretched arms and so they are not physically united but they can establish an eye contact. The first six months of the baby’s life psychologists call the period of symbiosis with the mother. Maintaining this symbiotic relationship is not an easy task. It requires of the mother a great commitment, a constant and emphatic catering for the baby’s bodily and emotional needs. And to cope with this task, the mother needs the support of the baby’s father. In helping the mother, the father sustains “the unity” that consists of the mother and the baby. A strong, symbiotic relationship of the mother and the baby does not mean that the father should keep aloof from his child. The importance of the direct contact between the father and the baby has been more and more stressed. The man who remains uninvolved, assumes the role of the “disqualified dad” and settles for a professional career and a status of the wageearner. Such situation impedes the development of his fatherhood and hinders the establishing of a relationship with the baby. When the child is about five years old, it starts to perceive its parents in their roles of a husband and wife. Owing to the emotions the child feels for each of the parents, it begins to understand the essence of marriage, which is complementing each other and cooperation. That is why the mutual relationship of the parents is so crucial for the child’s development.